Self-help Indulgence...Anyone?

(My first self-help books & Beach side fiction of the month!)

The ever famous book "Men r from Mars, Women r from Venus" by John Gray. The partner won a free seminar to attend based on this book by Mix.fm's website.This was held on the 28th Of August 2008 last week, and these were the books I'd got on the same day of that week, Yipee for me! (More books to read :0) )

Well, the seminar proved interesting because we actually debated every mid-way and since it was a mixture of one couple and three singles, allot of questions arose that we couple could explain and singles gave us an insight on today's world of dating. Though personally, I was shocked to find out how shallow men still are in the dating process, guess some things just never change....or could they?

Most questions the single men pose were very easy to answer from my point of view of a woman in general speaking terms. Like for example, one guy said he had this relationship where he knows she's the direct sort. She goes "Do you L-O-V-E me?" and he says he doesn't know how to answer it because he's still not sure, albeit he does have feelings for her but he has a rating system (In venusian language, simple conclusion would be " I like you, not in the I LOVE YOU stage yet though!) whereby its like I like you but its stage one (stage one is in the friendly stage) or stage 2 or 3, and the list goes on if you get what I meant.

So, back to this guy. He's caught in between feelings like in stage 6 or something (Stage 6 onwards will lead to I LOVE U, enough for marriage stages if he feels strongly enough to marry you that is!) so it's between a Yes/No situation. Which in Men's term its simply, "Maybe?".

And of course his straight direct to the point missus goes, "You're NOT answering my question! Yes or NO? DO-U-L-O-V-E-ME?" Now guys, when you know she's the direct sort, please don't go around the bushes? Just tell her "I'm not ready yet, so I can't exactly tell you whether I do or I don't, cuz as it turns out I DO have feelings for you, BUT am NOT sure its an I-LOVE-U stage yet" or "We haven't really been together THAT long enough for me to be sure of my feelings for you and it wouldn't be fair if I lied and say that I do, please give me more time to be sure before I say I love you and truly meant it from the bottom of my heart". It doesn't matter if it hurts her, THAT'S what she wants to hear, the freaking truth whether it hurts or not its NOT your fault if she breaks down after that or acts cold because technically she's DIGESTING the information in her OWN way.

(Note to gurls : Be prepared to hear his answer, and if it's not what you're looking for be at least grateful that HE is honest and it DOESN'T meant he doesn't care about you, he does. Just give him time and space to figure it out. SOMETIMES, waiting does reaps rewards as they always say, Patience IS a Virtue)

Leave her alone when she reacts this way, because she would rather be left alone or if you feel bad, just be there with her but please for god's sake don't put on the "LET ME EXPLAIN' words because YOU WILL ONLY MAKE IT WORST. You being there in her presence is enough to comfort her at arms length.

I can almost hear you guys saying "And then what after all that drama?!" then, my dears you ask her if she wants to talk or if you could give her a hug (SINCERELY as by nature we're VERY sensitive to vibes of your feelings to us!!) Using the correct tone will bring you wonders.

(Note: When she DOES decides she wants to talk, PLEASE OH PLEASE for god sake, just be there to listen, yes its illogical but we find it less stressful when someone just listens and shut up. We're NOT looking for a SOLUTION at this point. JUST comfort and UNDERSTANDING)

See? its THAT simple and Easy, seriously both genders Do speak different languages and its the communication that brings us further apart. I wouldn't say the book has change my relationship much, but it has been PROVEN useful and has Saved Marriages and Relationships alike by 99%.

Theres another thing I'd like to point out to gurls for the guys benefit from this book. When guys gets stressed, they go into a place they call "THE CAVE" ( Its when they shut themselves up and get lost into space) The Cave could either be guys reading the newspaper and smoking, drinking..etc The most important thing is that when they do, GURLS must NEVER disturb them when they go into thier caves, for a more deeper understanding of "THE CAVE" why not buy the book? *Grinz*

Bear in mind, this book ain't a miracle pill to save your relationship. Its just a book of skills and advise to improvise your relationships and to create a better understanding of the opposite sexes.

To be honest, as its my first ever self-help books, (Fictions are my forte!) I've actually find it an interesting read.Its in the top list of non-fiction best sellers by MPH and yes, I've heard of it but never really got to read it up till now.

The seminar was an eye opener, but its too short for a two-hour coaching so said partner and I are going for the one whole day seminar next month. Will update you on how it goes *Winkz*

By now, you must be wondering why the fiction book is in the picture as well. Frankly, I had bought the book as it stands to reason that its 1# Cheap (Its Rm14.90) yes, believe it or not and I got another 10% as I'm a Popular Card Member (Grinz) 2# Needed it for my beachside read when I go to BALI in two weeks time and Thirdly is because the title is interesting, enuff said.

I'm exhausted, so thats it for now. Adios amigos~!